But after all of my beautiful & meticulous handiwork was done something unexpected happened...I took a step back & thought, This seems like a lot of work & who the hell knows what's really going to happen?...Where's the joy & fun?...Bueller? Anyone?...What is the point of all of this anyway? And then it dawned on me that it all really boiled down to one thing...I just want to be happy. (As a side note, by happy I really mean something more like inner peace. There are of course moments when we are not going to be happy & this is perfectly normal. But the goal is to strive for inner peace as much as possible.)
So despite my concerted efforts to create the perfect recipe for happiness I'm going to screw the ingredients & just head straight to the cake. Yes, I'm going to have happiness be my starting point & guiding principle. Why not just start with the end result & let everything else pan out? If you wait for everything on your checklist to happen before you allow yourself to be happy you will never be because even as you check things off you'll just be adding other goals. You have to recognize that happiness will always be elusive when you are depending on external things for it. It's just a moving target.
Happiness is a MINDSET & comes from inside. Make it your goal to be happy & you'll change your external environment. You create your life from the inside out. Contrary to popular belief, it does NOT work the other way around! No external thing (people included) will ever "save" you or make you feel whole & worthy & happy. That kind of thinking is giving your power away & is total danger zone. You have to find a way to feel whole & happy & loved right this second regardless of any external circumstances or experiences you've been through.
How am I feeling right this second? Well, I've had about half the vision in my left eye for over a month due to an eye infection, I have a sore throat, my lower back has been hurting for over 10 years, I have some mental anxiety & one of my friends shared with me a heartbreaking story of losing his entire home & beloved cat in a fire & I'm sad for him... but snow is falling outside, my cats are sleeping peacefully, we're all warm, I'm helping my clients with their homes & wardrobes & hopefully these words are helping you in some way. Happiness & sadness, joy & pain are all part of the beauty of life. It's all perfectly imperfect.
Here is what I do to stay in the happy zone:
- Fully experience the present moment- It's the only time we have to live & experience joy. Regrets & pain over the past & anxiety over the future will instantly kill the joy & aliveness of this moment. Our time on this earth is limited, don't waste a second of it choosing to live in the pain of your thoughts over experiencing the joy of being alive in this moment & the promise it holds.
- Have gratitude- Gratitude connects you with the Source & brings even more to be grateful for into your life. It's amazingly powerful in transforming your life internally & externally.
- Give- The ultimate feel good. The reason we are on this planet is to love & help each other. One of my morning prayers to the universe is, "Please bring me the people I need & the people that need me." Not only are you helping someone but giving takes you out of your own head & issues & insecurities. Giving is its own gift but it's also a dynamic flow & the more you give the more you'll receive.
Goals & plans & dreams of grandeur are great & I am all for making things happen but don't believe that they are tickets to some elusive happiness in the future. You don't have to wait for happiness, jump through hoops for it, deserve it or earn it. You already have what you're trying to get & you have the power right this second to be happy. Just give yourself permission to claim it & live it. Don't settle for the ingredients when you already have the cake!
photo: me (gorgeous Hudson River sunset)
Here is what I do to stay in the happy zone:
- Fully experience the present moment- It's the only time we have to live & experience joy. Regrets & pain over the past & anxiety over the future will instantly kill the joy & aliveness of this moment. Our time on this earth is limited, don't waste a second of it choosing to live in the pain of your thoughts over experiencing the joy of being alive in this moment & the promise it holds.
- Have gratitude- Gratitude connects you with the Source & brings even more to be grateful for into your life. It's amazingly powerful in transforming your life internally & externally.
- Give- The ultimate feel good. The reason we are on this planet is to love & help each other. One of my morning prayers to the universe is, "Please bring me the people I need & the people that need me." Not only are you helping someone but giving takes you out of your own head & issues & insecurities. Giving is its own gift but it's also a dynamic flow & the more you give the more you'll receive.
Goals & plans & dreams of grandeur are great & I am all for making things happen but don't believe that they are tickets to some elusive happiness in the future. You don't have to wait for happiness, jump through hoops for it, deserve it or earn it. You already have what you're trying to get & you have the power right this second to be happy. Just give yourself permission to claim it & live it. Don't settle for the ingredients when you already have the cake!
photo: me (gorgeous Hudson River sunset)
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